SURPRISE :)

Well, my plan was to wrap up radiation on Wednesday with a big "celebration!"  I was doing my countdown dance, and my dad had even carved out time for these last 3 mornings to drive me across town to my treatment.  When I arrived today, the radiation therapist greeted me with a huge smile and asked if I was ready for my graduation.  I was a bit confused.  My doctor had told me that I was scheduled for 5 weeks or 25 treatments, which would have made Wednesday my last day.  And although I was CERTAINLY welcoming an early wrap-up, I was pretty sure there was a mistake.  However, they said that my schedule in the computer had me finishing today at 23 treatments, and that I was all done!

I was still a tiny bit skeptical, wanting to make sure that I did in fact receive all of the necessary treatments that my doctor had ordered.  So I called my radiation oncologist this afternoon, and low and behold, she had put in my plan for 23 treatments.  I'm still not positive of the reasoning for 4 1/2 weeks, rather than 5, but I'm SUPER excited to have now completed radiation!!!!  It was a little unclimactic, but it was a very welcomed surprise :)

So another milestone is complete in this cancer journey!!  I will meet with my radiation oncologist again for a follow-up, and we will discuss the next steps for reconstruction surgery with my plastic surgeon soon.  From what we were told before radiation, my body needed to be fully healed from that step before surgery could be performed, which should be about 3-6 months down the road.  Assuming my body continues to recover well from the combination of expanders and radiation, that surgery should be fairly uneventful.  There will be some recovery involved, but it should be nothing at all like the recovery from the first surgery (praise the Lord!!).

I will also continue my Herceptin infusions every three weeks for the next 5-6 months (tomorrow is my next infusion).  Since I'm still seeing my oncologist through that time, I'm not sure what the follow up care will look like after that.  I believe I will continue to see my surgeon at various intervals and will be under the care of my oncologist for the next several years.  I'm so grateful for wonderful doctors who have cared for me well up through this point, and I am confident will continue to do so.

There is much joy at this point among our family and friends, and we are so grateful to be at this point in the journey!  God has been so good throughout each phase of treatment, even on the darkest of days.  We've been stretched, molded, humbled, and at times, completely spent in suffocating exhaustion.  And yet...

"...this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope.  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:21-23)

We never walk this road alone.  God is just as present in the glorious days of sunshine as He is in the most dreadful of storms, and all of those things work together for the good of those who love Him.  I realize more than ever that I am not promised anything in this life.  Not success or money, not a perfect home with a perfect family, not comfort and ease and a beautiful vacation from difficulty waiting around every corner.  The Bible says that I'm not even promised tomorrow.  We live in a fallen and broken world with tragedies, heartache, and things like cancer.  But in Christ, I am promised EVERYTHING that I need in this life and for eternity.  His grace sustains me, His joy knows no bounds, and His peace cannot compare to anything else in our human understanding.  He truly is enough, and I pray that I will continue to cling to the truths that I've learned, even when the dark clouds of life return.

Our family's next step is to try to schedule a little getaway!!  We could use some uninterrupted time together, and I'm finally feeling good enough to enjoy it :)

Seasons Change

For those of you that know me well, you know that the fall is my ABSOLUTE favorite time of year :)  Maybe it's that my birthday falls in October, bringing with it that giddy feeling that the holidays are just around the corner.  Perhaps it's the reminder of the smell of burning leaves out in the country fields of my little hometown in Indiana.  The warm autumn sun that sparkles in the bright blue sky fades into the crisp, cold and grey clouds of November.  It's as if all the world goes down for a nice, long nap, accompanied by blankets, football games, sweaters, and hot chocolate.  The changing of the seasons is such a reminder of God's faithfulness to bring it about each and every year.

My days of radiation are coming to an end...only 5 more treatments!!!  Other than my skin having some burning issues from the radiation beams and my body feeling more of the pressing fatigue, the treatments are going very well.  I noticed after the first couple of weeks that by the end of the day, I was becoming more exhausted.  Now it's just earlier in the day that the fatigue is hitting.  I'm doing a lot as well, which I'm sure contributes to it.  However, there seem to be no complications with my tissue expanders, and my left arm is showing no signs of lymphodema.  I'm so grateful that even with these treatments, I'm able to enjoy so much of normal life again!

Really, we've just been soaking in the days of fall around here, and it's been glorious :)  School is going well for the kids, and we're busy.  A.J.'s football and Hailey's volleyball seasons will wrap up next week, and it will be good to have more time to settle in together at home as the weather gets cold.  We've enjoyed apple picking; and a couple of weeks ago, we visited our very favorite farm, Young's Dairy.  The tradition began 13 years ago when Bryan and I were just a couple of college kids, and we long for the cool October Saturdays to arrive so that we can pick pumpkins and enjoy the delicious ice cream from the dairy farm.  We love it!!

We also enjoyed our church's Missions Conference this past weekend, along with a fantastic Andrew Peterson concert!  Our church supports over 50 missionaries that are bringing the gospel to areas all over the world, and it was such an inspiration to hear several of their stories of the mission field.  I love that our church has such a huge desire to bring the beautiful hope of Christ to even the darkest of nations.  And Andrew Peterson just added to the encouragement of the weekend...his music is like balm to the weariest of souls...  

Today was our little guy, Landon's 6th birthday!!  Oh, how I love this kid so much.  A great illustration for his energy level...he was swinging at the park today (very, very high, I might add!) and decided at the peak of his swing to jump.  Instead of landing on his feet, he just curled up and hit the ground in a little clump.  It was UGLY, and I was pretty sure we'd be heading for the hospital.  Landon, however, seemed basically unfazed and went on to the next challenge, telling me that he actually "meant to do that."  He's full throttle all day long, and yet his heart is beautifully sensitive as well.  He gets "joy" so easily, and he teaches me what it means to swim in the deep end of life.  We went to the park today to meet up with his cousins and some buddies, and it was a really great day!!

Thank you, as always, for continuing to love us through the ups and downs of this journey.  These are good days, and I'm delighted to be feeling so much better!  Part of that joy is fueled by the gentle reminder that all has not been well.  Routines are resuming, yet it's a new normal we're adjusting to now.  Some of that is difficult, although much is welcomed.  Our eyes are wider to even the smallest details of life, and our hands are more open to God's sovereignty in those details.  We've been shaped and molded in countless ways, many that we probably don't even recognize at the moment.  Yet, through it all, God has been so very faithful.  I long to breathe deep these days that feel so much more precious in light of our suffering.  You can pray that we continue to maintain an eternal perspective and that my heart, as always, remains anchored in the One who provides joy abundant.  

  

The Dance of Life...

Yikes...I didn't realize it had been another really long stretch since my last post!!  Daily life has certainly picked up the pace, and aside from late at night, I'm finding it difficult to sneak away to write as often.  Even though that's been a bit disappointing for me, it also means that I'm busy living life again!!

Since radiation began a couple of weeks ago, I've made HUGE progress in terms of my pain.  In fact, aside from some discomfort here and there, I'm virtually pain free!  It took a good 7-8 weeks post surgery to get there, but I'm so grateful to finally be feeling comfortable again.  It certainly gave me a new perspective for people that live with chronic pain :(

After 11 radiation treatments, I'm grateful to report that that phase of the journey is also going well!  These daily appointments do require me to drive to a location about 30 minutes away early in the morning.  However, I'm able to see the sun rise each day, I have about an hour of alone time in the car before my day gets crazy (my dad actually drove me today, which was great time to visit as well!), and I typically arrive back home just as the kids are finishing breakfast.  The radiation team is so kind, and I actually look forward to seeing the other patients that are also there each day receiving treatments.  My radiation oncologist will be administering 25 total treatments, so I'm almost halfway there!  From what I understand, fatigue tends to set in quite heavily as the treatments progress, so we'll see how that goes.  I have noticed that I've needed a nap in the afternoon for the past few days; but I'm still, overall, feeling pretty good!

Life has been moving back towards normalcy, yet as I've mentioned before, it really doesn't look the same.  There is a slower pace, even in the midst of our busy schedule.  School lessons, sports practices/games, appointments...those things are all occurring these days, yet my hands are so much more open to God's plans for us.  I find myself grasping less and less to my checklists and schedules.  The kids and I are spending LOTS of time reading together, baking yummy treats, and drinking apple cider.  We're trying to "rejoice" in the day that God has provided, and I'm so much more likely to do the things that I used to put off for another day.  All of us are learning that joy is a choice, and we are actually allowed to choose that, no matter how we may feel about things going on around us.

My sweet little Eli...he can be a cranky monster or the most precious thing you've ever seen (I've just described all 3 year olds :).  He's been so excited that mommy can hold him again and keeps asking me if I'm all better now.  I can't believe how much he's grown in the past year, and we have my mom and sister to thank for keeping him in line and helping to guide his little heart when I was too sick and weak to do so.

Oh, how much I love this amazing man!!  We had another date to the infusion center this week to get my Herceptin infusion.  As difficult as chemo was, this infusion is easy with little to no side effects!  It's been wonderful to have Bryan at so many of these appointments with me, and I'm certain these will be beautiful memories in our minds one day.

We were able to visit with one of Bryan's grandmas last Sunday.  Her health is declining, yet her 90- year old spirit is still so strong.  We are praying that God gives her many more precious days with her family.

My birthday was last week, and my amazing family made it so very special.  Bryan bought me 2 new outfits and arranged for a babysitter to come so that we could go out to dinner.  It was WONDERFUL!!  We also all went out to Red Robin as a family to celebrate.  Sweet, sweet times...

My dear friend, Emily, and I got our kids together as well for a little birthday lunch.  Everyone had a blast, even Eli (what's up with the sad lip??)!

One of our favorite fall outings is the Lebanon Apple Festival!!  The kids insist on their yearly caramel apples, and we always comply (despite the mess :).  Our family cannot get enough fall fun!!

Below are pictures of a fantastic event that I was invited to participate in a couple of weeks ago!  It's called Volley for the Cure, and it's an event to honor breast cancer survivors put on by the volleyball team at Lakota West High School (where Bryan taught for 10 years).  Our good friends have a daughter who plays on the freshman team at West; so we were able to see her play, as well as the JV and Varsity teams (which our volleyball loving daughter LOVED!).  It was a special night of celebration for all of these women who have fought and conquered this disease, as well as those of us still fighting!  Several of our family and friends also attended, and I was completely overwhelmed with emotion as I stood on that gym floor looking up at them.  It was such a memorable night...

This sweet woman has been in the chemo room with me several times, and I was so excited to see her there!  Friendships form so quickly when you're both fighting the same battle.

I'm so bummed, because there was one more picture that I wanted to include, and that's of on of our precious babysitters, Katie.  For some reason, I can't find the picture on my phone anymore!!  Katie has been an incredible light in our family over the past 8 months; and as she came and played with our kids today, I praised God that she's in our life.  This sweet girl is only 15 years old, yet she loves and serves with a maturity that I can only hope my children will possess one day.  She's given so unselfishly of her time, and she's been in our home during some of my most difficult days.  She texts me to let me know she's praying for me, she helps our kids with their schoolwork, she cleans up our home, and she's never asked for anything in return.  She has truly shared her love for Christ by serving us so well, and we are so grateful for her!!