You take the good, you take the bad...

What a crazy busy week we have had, filled with ups and downs (which sounds a lot like everyone's life, right?!).  As I mentioned in the last post, our kids went to camp this week with our Classical Conversations group.  Bryan left with the kids on Monday morning to help chaperone the trip, and that evening, he called to tell me that Landon was very sick.  The poor kid had actually fallen asleep on an outside wooden bench during one of the activities!  So my dad went to pick him up and bring him back to my parent's house, while Bryan stayed at camp with the older two.  Landon was on fire with fever when my dad got him home, and my parents immediately put him to bed.  The doctors and nurses have stressed that my immune system will be down during chemo and that I need to be very careful of germs and illnesses (they probably didn't consider that I live with 4 little germ factories!)  My heart ached that I was not able to cuddle and care for my sweet boy when he was so miserable :(.  I had planned to stay at my parent's house with Eli while everyone else was gone, but we headed home to let them care for Landon until he recovered.

Being fever free for much of Tuesday, we thought it was safe for me to come back over the next evening.  And oh, how my boy want to cuddle!!  He's always been our crazy, but completely lovable kiddo; and after a good bath, he wanted his mama!  Sure enough, within about 15 minutes of holding him on the couch, he was on fire again.  He said that his throat hurt as well, and he began to cry.  Before they left for camp, Landon was very concerned because I have cancer and no one would be home to take care of me.  He also knows that he needs to be careful not to get me sick (and he uses hand sanitizer religiously).  I asked him why he was crying, and he said he was so worried about what was going to happen.  He also said he just wanted to go home.  Throughout all of this, the kids have been wonderful about being shuffled about between family and friends' houses and having things be a bit unsettled.  But I could tell that this sweet boy just needed to feel some normalcy and to be reassured that everything was going to be okay.  I knew Bryan would be home with the other kids that night as well, so we loaded up Landon and Eli and went home.

It felt so good to have everyone back home and safe that night.  The kids had a fantastic time at camp, and I was so grateful that they were able to make all of those memories alongside their daddy.  I was, obviously, uneasy about having been exposed to Landon's illness.  However, I knew that there was nothing that I could do, and that God would care for me, even if I ended up getting sick.  Fortunately, I have stayed well up until now!  Both of my parents and Bryan...not so much :(.  Everyone seems to be either better or on the mend at this point, and I am praising God for his protection over me (thank you for your prayers!!)!

Who could ever resist snuggles with this cutie??!

On a wonderful note, we've had some GREAT times this week as well!  Our amazing friends have set up a schedule so that we have someone on call almost daily to help assist with our needs (AKA...someone to help manage the chaos :).  I cannot tell you the relief it's been to have people love on us in this way...whether it's doing laundry, cleaning our house, bringing us groceries, playing games with our kids, or any of the other countless ways they have served us...it's the body of Christ in action, and it's simply beautiful.  I truly hope this will forever change the way that I serve people who are suffering, and that I can be even half as thoughtful as people have been with us.  A friend came over this week and cleared out our entire fridge and freezer because I can hardly open it without being overwhelmed with nausea.  Others have been here to sit by me on the couch and encourage me.  And although I hate cancer, I love that it has provided me some of the sweetest conversations I've ever had with friends and family.

The chemo effects have also subsided this week, so I've felt so much better!  So after all of the sickness earlier in the week, we headed out quite a bit to enjoy the end of the week!  Our Classical Conversations group had an end of the year program on Thursday night, and I was so grateful to be able to attend.  This is a homeschool group that our family has been a part of for 3 years now, and we all love it!  Our children have the opportunity to be in a classroom one day a week doing lots of memory work, an art project/music lesson, a science experiment, and lunch/recess.  The friendships for both myself and my kids through this group have been priceless!  Up until my diagnosis in February, I tutored at our campus, and I adored my little group of 2nd/3rd graders!!  Our daughter Hailey has worked so hard this year (even, and especially after my diagnosis) and received the award of Memory Master, along with 27 other students!  And after the program, my precious class presented me with a patchwork "quilt" that they made with drawings, verses, etc. to encourage me.  (**Don't be confused...I'm wearing a wig in some of the pictures below :)  I'm going back and forth a bit, but tend to stick with the hats and scarves most of the time!)

Landon and his class (front and center with the plaid shirt)

A.J. and his class (bright yellow shirt)

Hailey and her class (pink shirt on end)

Our sweet girl receiving her Memory Master award!!

Here is the quilt my class created for me.  These kids are awesome!!  Three of them are missing from the picture, but what a great job they all did this year!

We had even more fun times over the weekend!  We actually went on a double date with our dear friends on Friday night, leaving 7 of our kiddos with a babysitter (which the kids LOVED).  The kids went to a birthday party on Saturday with neighbor friends, and I did laundry and paid some bills (fun times, right??).  That evening, we celebrated Bryan's Grandma's 92nd birthday (that woman is amazing!).  And after all of the fun, I crashed hard last night!  But it felt so worth it to be out living.  I told Bryan that I don't want to be unwise in spending myself and my energy on unnecessary things.  But I want God to spend me for Himself in whatever way He chooses. Tonight, I await the dawn of a new day...and another chemo treatment (#3).  There will be days ahead where I don't even walk outside, and there are difficult moments on those days.  The blessing is, that this weekend felt almost normal for our family!  I have the hope of those days to return, and I'm so grateful for Week #3 in my chemo cycle.

Our wonderful friends, the Munoz's...back from a fun night out!

Grandma Skoog is on the left, and Bryan's other grandma, Meme, is on the right (and Uncle Denny with the photobomb :).   Do either of these women look like they are in their 90's??  No way!!

If you are praying for our family, you can pray that tomorrow's chemo treatment goes well.  After treatment #2, I have so much less anxiety about the infusion.  In fact, I'm already contemplating what to send my mom out to get me for lunch :)  You can also pray for the days ahead...those first 10 days or so after chemo are rough, physically and emotionally.  Pray that my heart would stay encouraged through the storm.

If you could also pray for 3 people specifically at my church who are suffering.  One family friend was supposed to have major surgery this past week for pancreatic cancer, and when they went in to do the surgery, they found more cancer on his liver.  Therefore, they were unable to do the surgery, and his prognosis is not good.  Another woman just found out this week that she has inoperable pancreatic cancer and is in the hospital now with complications.  And finally, another couple in our church received the crushing news that their son (who is my age) almost certainly has ALS.  Our pastor's sermon today was on the mercy of God, and he illustrated it with the book of Jonah and God's mercy on the city of Ninevah.  He then challenged us to examine our belief in God's mercy in the midst of these people's suffering.  Is He still merciful?  Is He still good?  When you are diagnosed with cancer, do these attributes of God still hold true?  And my answer is most definitely, yes.  Is that difficult, at times, to remember...yes.  But He's so good at reminding me all of the time.  He reminds me through His Word, through the service of others on His behalf, through circumstances that can only be crafted by Him to show His mercy, His goodness, and His glory.  Pray that these three families will also feel the the great mercy and goodness of God through their unbearable heartache right now.  And we will update you all after tomorrow to let you know how everything goes as well.